Woman Accused Of Trying To Run Someone Over After Cinnamon Bun Argument

Humor, News — March 30, 2015 at 9:05 pm by

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34-year-old Amy Joe Derepentigny of Myrtle Beach, South Carolina doesn’t mess around when it comes to cinnamon buns. This past Tuesday, an unnamed victim learned that the hard way. From The Charlotte Observer:

An investigation revealed that Derepentigny and the victim of the alleged attempted murder had argued at a local gas station about not having enough money for a cinnamon bun before driving to the home where the incident happened, police said. Derepentigny told the victim, “If you step in front of this car, I’ll run you over,” according to the arrest warrant. Derepentigny then quickly accelerated toward the victim and attempted to strike him in a 2000 Ford Expedition, police said. Authorities said there was a 13-year-old child in the front seat during the incident, so Derepentigny was also charged with unlawful neglect of a child.

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Luckily, the victim was able to get out of the way of Derepentigny’s vehicle and avoid injury. Derepentigny ended up running into a nearby fence instead. While trying to run over someone is never the right way to resolve a conflict, I can’t really be too upset about Derepentigny’s actions. I mean, this is a fucking cinnamon bun we’re talking about here. That’s a first ballot Hall of Fame breakfast dish. If Derepentigny pulled this shit over some turkey bacon, then I could understand the judge throwing the book at her. But since this incident centered around such a delectable pastry, I think she should get a slap on the wrist. I don’t feel too bad for the 13-year-old kid, either. If someone told husky, 13-year-old me that we had to run somebody over to right a cinnamon bun wrong, I would’ve hopped into the front seat faster than you can say, “Walter White.”

via Uproxx & The Charlotte Observer
cover pic: The Charlotte Observer

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