WJLA– “An unusual and unsanitary vandal has been polluting the park. Arlington County Department of Parks and Recreation said human poop has been found about four to five times in the last few months.”
— Ryan Hughes (@ABC7Hughes) August 20, 2016
I’m on the record many many times of saying I think peeing outside is one of life’s most underrated experiences. No problem with people peeing outside, as long as it’s done respectfully where no one is going to walk. But pooping? You’re a savage. The though of standing up without a fresh wipe job is off the charts. Can’t have it. I’ll never trust a man who poops outside and enjoys it. Once is bad enough. But a serial park pooper? Now we’re talking crazy. Somebody find this man, and get the firing squad ready.