— Mashable News (@MashableNews) March 4, 2016
I have no idea who to vote for in the upcoming election, but I can guarantee you one thing, and that’s that I’m not gonna vote for anyone with a small dick. Just not gonna do it. I’m pretty new to politics, so I don’t know how yet to separate the one’s with the big dicks from the one’s with the small dicks, especially cause I’m not sure if any of the other candidates have come out and told the American public how large their penises are, but now I can at least rest easy knowing that if Trump is our next president, he’s gonna rule with the biggest dick the White House has ever seen. At the end of the day, I’m choosing dick size over foreign policy every time.