Top 15 Biggest Douche Bags In Sports (Because 10 Doesn’t Cover Them All)

Sports and Bets — August 6, 2014 at 5:30 pm by

We all get annoyed by certain athletes in the sports world acting like the fans are privileged to watch them perform. I tried to compose a list of the top ten biggest douche bags in sports today, both on and off the field, but then realized that there are far more than ten of these A-holes. So I made a top 15 list, just to annoy myself looking at their faces.

15. Greivis Vasquez- This genuinely pains me to put him on this list, seeing as he’s my favorite Terp of all time. But if he was on any other team, we’d all hate him. But I still love him like the Hispanic brother I never had.


14. Tom Brady- Bro wears Uggs and turtleneck sweaters. He also may be the biggest pussy to ever stand on a football field.


13. Mark Teixeira- Totally sold out B-more in favor of the enemy, and then sucked New York’s dick during his press conference. To his credit though, he’s made a nice career for someone who is that ugly.


12. Christiano Ronaldo– His alleged five-hooker orgy either makes him a scum bag or a hero. Can’t decide.


11. Novak Djokovic- Has there ever been anyone who has been more unanimously disliked in a sport than Novak? The best player in the world literally has zero fans, and that’s a tough feat to accomplish. Fake another injury, bro.


10. Jonathan Papelbon- If he were still a relevant player, he’d probably be higher on this list. It would be great to punch that shit eating grin off his face.


9. Ndamukong Suh- Steps on a player’s head and lies about it, then kicks another man in the dick on national television. He’s an overgrown child.


8. David Ortiz- Suck a nut, man.


7. Desean Jackson- From his open support for Michael Vick’s dog fighting habits, to him dropping the ball before he gets in the end zone, nothing about the most overrated wide receiver in the league doesn’t scream douche bag.

6. Ryan Lochte- Mr. Pretty Boy himself. Here’s a guy who thinks people actually give a flying fuck about him. Or swimming.


5. John Lackey- What a mouth breather.

John Lackey

4. Josh Beckett- Classic case of a guy who loves to throw baseballs at people’s heads, then never wants to throw down with fists. Big pussy out there on the mound. Has the talent to be an all-time great pitcher, but would rather drink beers in the club house. On second thought, can’t blame him too much for that.


3. Tiger Woods- Is there anything a man can do to make himself more of a d-bag than cheat on his wife with countless strippers and porn stars? (Especially when his wife is smoking hot to begin with). If this guy fakes another injury when he’s not performing well out on the golf course, I’m gonna lose my mind.


2. Alex Rodriguez- I’m not sure anyone could argue this point, even A-Rod himself. This guy posed for a photo shoot of him kissing himself in the mirror. He also let’s men shoot him in the butt with needles and shave his legs for him. Need I go on?


1. Floyd Mayweather, Jr.- Just the ultimate ass hole. We’re talking about a guy who claimed that if he was white he’d be the biggest athlete in the world. You’re not the biggest athlete in the world cause you’re a boxer, and no one gives a shit. In fact, I’d argue that if you were white you’d be less popular. This guy calls his crew The Money Team, and got his own logo and clothing line to support it. All tough guys roll with Justin Bieber, no doubt about that.



Honorable Mentions:

Johnny Manziel

Vontaze Burfict

Bryce Harper

Kris Humphries


  1. Where is the hell is Rapistberger?!

  2. Forget the bike rider guy?

  3. Zack obviously holds a grudge against the Red Sox how can you put Big Papi on the list if anything he would make it onto the 15 most liked athletes list. His lack of an explanation validates that claim. Where is Kobe at? Sean Avery? I like the majority with the exceptions of Papi and Beckett not enough to earn rights on the list.

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