Thoughts On The Boston College Foot Tickler. (Complete With Marsellus Wallace Reference.)

News — June 3, 2014 at 12:00 pm by

by Zach

 Boston police officer, Sergeant Michael O’Hara, confirmed everyone’s worst fear last week. That’s right, the Boston College tickler is on the loose, and he’s ready to get his hands on some feet ASAP. At least ten reports have been made about this creep who breaks into Boston College students’ dwellings in the middle of the night, and while they are sleeping, gives them a very unpleasant foot tickle. April 7 was a particularly busy night for the tickler, when three different students called the police to report his malfeasance.

 I actually wish this perp would break into my home, seeing as I’ve been looking for someone to give me a nice foot rub for some time now, and the fact that he does it for free is just icing on the cake. But I can understand being creeped out by this weirdo. I mean, what sort of pleasure does he get from this? Maybe he enjoys the thrill of seeing his victims jerk out of bed suddenly, or maybe he just has a serious foot fetish. Either way, the tickler has gotten away with it at least 10 times, so there’s no doubt this guy’s a pro. Anyone who can get away with the same crime ten times has at least a smidgen of my respect, and anyone who tickles strangers’ feet for his own pleasure seems like a real solid individual. Maybe one day he’ll be brought to justice, but until then it appears the tickler’s just gonna keep on tickling. 

Meanwhile this tickler better hope he never touches the foot of Marsellus Wallace’s girlfriend.  He’ll end up like Antwan…..



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