These Sweethearts Stole Rolexes, Hid Them In Their Vaginas

Humor, News — September 2, 2014 at 12:52 pm by

I can’t believe that they were caught. Seduce guys, snatch rolexes, and hide them in their snatches. Seems like a simple, foolproof plan. But they forgot the first rule when it comes to robbing wealthy, horny suckers. You’ve gotta make sure that those fools are out cold before you commit your thievery. It doesn’t matter if they pass out from a roofie, tequila shots, or utter exhaustion from too many depraved sex acts. If they’re asleep, these vagina bandits are home free instead of being in the slammer. Such sloppy execution.

And how ’bout that quote from Trinity Kennard? She said, “I thought when stuff like this happens it’s just like a personal thing. I didn’t think police would get involved and I could go to jail.” What a fucking moron. You were stealing rolexes, not watches from a Cap’n Crunch box. Those two watches were worth a combined $16,000, and now they are unwearable. No matter how hard you scrub and clean those things, they will always reek of coochie juice and deceit. Burning the watches, and sending The Three Muffketeers to jail is the only rational thing to do at this point.

Via Huffington Post

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