Ten Take-aways From Last Night’s MTV VMA’s

Entertainment — August 25, 2014 at 1:23 am by

Well, I successfully spent two and a half hours of my Sunday night watching MTV’s annual VMA awards, and I’m not entirely proud of it. During my time acting like a 15 year-old girl watching this program, I noticed some things going on in our world of pop culture that I’d like to point out.

10. There were no outrageous moments: No girl-on-girl kiss, and Kanye’s dumb ass didn’t storm on stage to interrupt Taylor Swift. What a bust of a night.

ky

 

9. Mainstream Rock And Roll is basically dead: This pains me to say, but Lorde won ‘Best Rock Video’ for her song “Royals.” Since when the fuck is that rock? Please, Blink-182, hurry up on your new album.

blink-183-photo-band

 

8. Nicki Minaj had a wardrobe malfunction, and almost showed nip: Stop try to cover it up and let those puppies breathe Nicki!

nick

 

7. This country is obsessed with Beyonce: What did she perform for like a half hour at the end? If she has that many people cheering her on for dry humping the fuck out of that chair while her husband and daughter watch, imagine what it sounds like when she gets done having sex for real.

bey

 

6. Adam Levine of Maroon 5 has a short-ass memory: 3 years ago he tweeted this. Last night, he played a lovely set with his band for this year’s production.

adam

 

5. Nicki Minaj is threatened by Iggy Azalea for a good reason: Girl’s got ass on ass. Sounded better too.

iggy

 

4. Jennifer Lopez will never be unattractive: Unexplainable.

jennifer-lopez-mtv-vma-2014-2

jlo

 

3. Amber Rose showed a lot of her body and no one’s complaining: No sir.

2014 MTV Video Music Awards - Red Carpet

 

2. Taylor Swift is just straight-up awkward as shit: This is actually painfully uncomfortable.

 

1. Kim Kardashain has a great set of tittays: I hate her for so many reasons. But this is not one.

2014 MTV Video Music Awards - Arrivals

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