Teacher Gets Mauled After Volunteering To Participate In Lion Demonstration At Circus

News — August 25, 2014 at 3:07 pm by

Well, at least that’s a field trip that the kids will always remember. All of my field trips are a giant blur of long bus rides, sweltering heat, and jackasses showing me how to churn butter. When those kids stop screaming and pissing their pants, they’ll be thankful they got a damn good story out of this trip to the circus. The teacher, Roxana Guevara, is currently recovering in a hospital with severe scratches to her neck and chest. Via the Mirror:

Speaking from her hospital bed, Roxana relived her terrifying ordeal. Ironically, she said volunteered to demonstrate the lion wasn’t aggressive. She added: “The lion tamer told me, ‘Don’t be afraid, we’ve done this before and it’s very docile.’ “It crushed my back when it jumped on top of me. I couldn’t do anything. It grabbed my throat with its claws. I thought I was going to die.”

I think it’s pretty safe to say that Roxana miscalculated the demeanor of that lion. And of course the lion tamer told you that. What else could he say? “Be very afraid, we’ve never done this before, and he’s a killing machine?” You can’t trust circus employees as far as you can throw ’em. Nothing but degenerates and swindlers in that profession. This one is all on you, Roxana. You willingly put yourself into that dangerous environment like a female Jackie Moon, and got what was coming to you.

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EVERYBODY PANIC!!!

Mirror

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