Sugar Shock v.1: DJ Chronicles and Crusher of The Week

Entertainment, Featured — June 23, 2014 at 5:38 am by

The Sugar Shock v.1


Greetings to all of my F-Shakers out there. My name is Funnel Shake and I am a DJ in Baltimore. I have been a DJ for a while now, and it is my pleasure to bring you “The Sugar Shock”. It is my weekly article about some of the parties we threw over the weekend and just a few thoughts and observations I have about night life and people watching.


Contained in this article each week, I will give you my “Crusher of the Week”, it is a jam that is either killing it during Peak Hour (“Peak Hour” is what us DJs call the busiest time of the night that will make or break your night- so don’t fuck it up) or a number that is pretty bad ass that I found online. I will also give you the most requested song of the week, best request of the week, dumbest request of the week, and the biggest asshole award for the dumbest thing I noticed while people watching. I will also be giving you access to download my latest Podcast session so stay tuned.


Most requested song- “Fancy” by Iggy Azalea feat. Charli XCX

Are you shocked? The white, Australian Nicki Minaj wannabe is continuing to annoy the shit out of me in clubs. It is a catchy song, and the beat is ok. 95 BPM is not a bad place either, so I could mix it a couple of different things. I have been using “Back that Azz Up” because of the similarities in the tempo and arrangement. But regardless, people are asking for it and it’s predominantly girls. They ask for it at least six times a night in the four periods I am playing music, and I’ll probably end up playing it twice. I have found that it goes well during Peak and at the end of the night. The ladies still love the damn Wobble for some reason, and they ask for that shit too, which is in a close second to “Fancy”, so I usually play those bitches back to back.


Best request of the week- “Anything Tribe Called Quest”

Play Tribe? You’re damn right I’m dropping some Tribe. Not only was it a Tribe request, but it was from a girl. Girls never ask for Tribe. Bravo.


Dumbest request of the week- “Something with violin in it”

 Most requests are dumb, but this one was pretty bad. It wasn’t even a request directed at me. It was written down on what looked like a mini spiral notepad page that was ripped out. I found it on Saturday when I was setting up. First off, you are a moron whoever requested that. If you want some violin, go to the symphony, dog. People are in the bar trying to rip shots and shake their ass. It was in chick handwriting, which makes sense, but whoever it was obviously is a total lame wad. Secondly, you are even more of a boring fuck for having that type of notepad with you on a Friday night. Maybe you can use it to write down how you should never fucking ask that question again. This is an upbeat party-we are not shopping for socks at Macy’s.


Biggest asshole move of the week- “The Drunk Guy”

 A guy spilled his drink on someone who was way out of his league. He then proceeded to hit on her, and then fell into my equipment. That’s exactly how to pick up chicks. Get drunk, spill something on them, and then tell them you like their blouse. It was a nice blouse asshole, until you spilled something on it.


Then, he tried to put his empty trash behind my protector screen. C’mon bro. Do you see a trash receptacle back here? You should go home, sit in the dark, and count to a million in your head.


Crusher of the week:  “La La La (White Panda X Gazzo Remix)” by Naughty Boy feat. Sam Smith


 I’m not a big fan of the original song, but White Panda and Gazzo did a great job with the re-edit. These DJs never disappoint and put together a ripper to enjoy pretty much anywhere.


I’ll have a new Podcast available for a free download next week. 

To find out where I’ll be this week and exclusive downloads, please like me on Facebook at


Thanks for catching up… until next time.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *