Stone Cold, Five Star, Rocking Chair. Lead Pipe NFL Locks. Week 7.

Sports and Bets — October 23, 2015 at 11:16 pm by

Since everybody’s on a stupid Back To The Future kick this week, we’ll pile onto the festivities.  Except, unlike the Cubs, we’ll actually win.  And we’re winning like Biff Tannen when he already knows the scores.  Because, you know, he’s got a book from the future…..



Babes  (Season 7-7 )

Week 7 and it’s time to cash in, people.  I’ve got the stats that simply don’t lie, and I’m feeling a huge week.

The road team has won 9 of the last 11 games outright in this Giants/Cowboys series, so I’ll gladly take the 3.5 points the Cowboys are being spotted Sunday.  Matt Cassel is worlds better then Brandon Weedon, so I expect a much better offensive output from Dallas.

I love the Vikings Sunday as well, as they have covered every game this season outside of the week one loss out west.  They are clearly the better team, as Detroit has struggled.  Get this, teams that travel to London the following week are 6-18 ATS (both Buffalo and the Jags got blown out last week before making the trip)
and Detroit makes that trip next week.

I also love the Colts to bounce back against the Saints this week.  Andrew Luck is 13-3 ATS coming off a loss in his career.  The Colts win by double digits in an O K Corral-style shootout.


Zach  (Season  9-9 )

No time for explanations.  Just winners.

Winner #1:   Jets +8

Winner #2:   Colts -4

Winner #3:   Texans: +4

You’re welcome.




Toby (Season: 10-8)

I’ve been on fire over the last four weeks, posting a gaudy 9-3 record. Here’s a live look-in of me composing my Week 7 picks. Just a total inferno of winners, babes.

The Game: New York Jets at New England Patriots (-9)
The Pick: Jets

If anybody can slow down the Patriots’ high-powered offense, it’s the Jets. New York’s defense is the best in the NFL when it comes to points (15.0) and yards (269.2) allowed. I also love that Chris Ivory has been running like a runaway freight train this season. It’s hard for that cheating dickweed Tom Brady to put up points when he’s standing on the sidelines watching his defense get repeatedly gashed. The Pats are giving up an atrocious 4.9 yards per carry, which is the 3rd worst mark in football. Gimme the goddamn Jets in what should be a hotly contested, one-score game.

The Game: Minnesota Vikings (-2) at Detroit Lions
The Pick: Vikings

I hate laying points on the road, but I’m a firm believer in the Vikings, and I think the Lions are one of the worst teams in the NFL. Going back to last season, Minnesota has covered in nine of their last 11 games and in five of their last seven road contests. They also beat Detroit by 10 points back in Week 2. I know the Lions are coming off a thrilling overtime win against the Bears, but this is a franchise with a proud tradition of falling back down to earth in agonizing fashion. The last 15 times the Lions scored 30 or more points, they’ve gone 1-14 ATS the following week. Sorry Kel, but I think you and your top-notch rack are in for a long Sunday.


The Game: Oakland Raiders at San Diego Chargers (-4)
The Pick: Raiders

The Chargers have one of the worst homefield advantages in football, as they’ve gone 1-7 ATS in their last eight games at home. To make matters worse for the Chargers, the Raiders have had success at Qualcomm Stadium, going 5-1 ATS in their last six games in San Diego. With both of these teams having suspect defenses and playmakers on offense, this game has the makings of a shootout that goes down to the wire. In this type of matchup, I love siding with the team coming off a bye and getting four points.


Seabass (Season 10-7-1 )

On the plus side again last week at 2-1 and bookie blood is in the water.  I love four games this week like Connery loves calling Trebek’s mother a whore.  Let’s go…

Game: Saints @ Colts (-4)      Pick: Saints

The Colts actually kept up with the Pats for while last week, but one of the worst plays in the history of football overshadowed their valiant effort.  That fake punt play was so horrific it kept Flacco’s, “airmail to anyone” interception versus the Niners relatively under wraps.  Now Breezy and the Saints come to town off a big win and ten days rest. I know the Saints aren’t very good these days, but Breezy looked a bit healthier last week and the extra rest can’t hurt him coming into this week.  Plus, giving Sean Payton extra time to mentally dice up a shitty defense isn’t a good thing for the Stolen Horseshoes.  Besides, that was the Colt’s Super Bowl last week and they failed to the tune of a gazillion Vine views of a fuck-tarded play.  Did they expect the Pats to count Three Mississippi?  Anything more than field goal this week and I’m on those points – and I think the number may inflate to five or more.  Breezy like  Sunday morning….



Game: Jets @Patriots (-8)         Pick: Jets

Eight points is way to much to give to defense as good as this Jets defense.  They can cover man to man and that allows them to blitz constantly.  That may enable them to get to Brady enough times to make this thing close.  Hell, the way they run the ball, the Jets might even win.  We all know around here that being physical with the Pats is the only way to beat ’em. This Jets team is capable of that kind of football.  Just gotta hope Ryan Fitzpatrick doesn’t screw it up for us.  The Beard over Ugg-Man this week.


Game: Browns at Rams (-6.5)   Pick: Rams

The Browns have been playing well, but that simply can’t continue.  Johnny Manziel’s crappy week will spill over as Todd Gurley runs for over 200 yards and the Rams fearsome front four puts Josh McCown continuously on his back.  Rams coming off a bye and I think they’ll ambush this Browns team, who’s due for a clunker.

Game: Eagles @ Panthers (-3)          Pick: Panthers

If you are one of the 12 or 13 people who read this blog regularly, you know that I think the Eagles are fake and that Chip Kelly’s offense is doomed in an NFL setting.  Throw in the fact that Sam Bradford looks like, and plays like a 15 year old kid, and it’s a recipe for disaster while travelling to Carolina.  The Panthers are nasty on D and will be ready to showcase that they are for real on national TV.    Biggest play of the year right here, babes.    Time for a Cam dance…

Good Luck to all…….

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