Some Moron Dressed As Wolverine Accidentally Cut His Penis Off

Humor, News — November 3, 2014 at 9:22 pm by

wolverine

Some total fucking dumb ass decided to dress up as Wolverine for Halloween, and fastened knives to his fingers to replicate whatever the fuck Wolverine has coming out of the back of his hands. He then needed to scratch his ass (cause he apparently had worms), and reached down his pants, forgetting about the knives he so intelligently attached to himself. He then sliced his dick clean off.

“I’ve been suffering with worms these last few days. They’ve been driving me crazy. I had some Ovex before I came out but as I was dancing to Thriller in Brenda’s living room, I totally forgot about my retractable claws. As soon as my arse started twitching, I did what any normal human would do and that was to put my hands down my pants to scratch it. Sadly, I forgot that I had a penis and I sliced it right off.”

Before we judge this guy, let’s remember it was Halloween, and shit happens. But that being said, what sort of moron just forgets he has a bunch of deadly weapons on his hands, especially when scratching anywhere near your penis. And could this poor guy be any nerdier? First of all, the guy’s dressed as a hero from fucking X-men. Second, he was dancing to Thriller in ‘Brenda’s living room,’ and he referred to the knives on his hands as ‘retractable claws.’ You’re not actually Wolverine, slick, and you probably need to remember that in your synopsis of the worst night of all time. The usage of the word ‘arse’ is just icing on the cake for the world’s biggest nerd.

This guy now has worms up his ass, and no dick. Fuck. What a night. Halloween rules!

via BroBible

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