Russian Soap Actor Leaves Bar With Woman, Wakes Up Without His Testicles

News — February 26, 2015 at 2:39 pm by


30-year-old soap actor, Dmitry Nikolaev, was hanging out in a bar after a performance at a Moscow theater. A young lady approached him and they hit it off. She invited him to go to a sauna with her and the married man just couldn’t resist. They did some kissing, had some more drinks, and from then on, Nikolaev doesn’t remember a damn thing. From the Daily Mail:

He woke up next day at a bus stop, feeling acute pain, and with blood on his trousers. Rushed to hospital, he was told that his testicles had been removed and that ‘it was done like proper surgery by someone with a medical education.’ The operation was conducted in a ‘skillful way’, said police, who believe his beer was spiked by an unknown drug. They fear a gang seeking to sell human organs on the black market.

Jesus Christ, and I thought I had some rough nights out drinking. All my blackouts are peanuts compared to this poor son of a bitch. This just goes to show you why you should never trust a woman who approaches you at a bar. It’s always too good to be true. They’re either complete nutjobs, freeloaders, or organ traffickers. That’s a fact. I was a little surprised to learn that selling organs on the black market is actually a real thing, though. I always assumed that was something that was made up for shitty movies. I guess this dude’s empty coin purse proves me wrong on that one. Best of luck in all of your future nutless endeavors, Dmitry, especially when it comes to avoiding getting murdered by your wife.

story and cover pic: Daily Mail

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