Ravens vs The Cops. Current Odds On The Next Raven To Get Arrested…..

Featured, Sports and Bets — July 14, 2014 at 11:57 pm by

The Ravens are on a roll. Cornerback Jimmy Smith ended up in bracelets this weekend, which means that now a grand total of five Baltimore football players have been arrested this off-season.  Honestly, that’s pretty impressive.  It means that five dudes off of the 2013-14, 53-man roster have spent some time sitting in the back of a cop car since the Super Bowl.  The Super Bowl was played on February 2nd, so that’s five arrested employees in roughly 160 days for the Ravens.  Incredible.  What other viable business that you know of could, or would, operate with 10% of their employees going to the slammer in a five month period?  Only in the NFL, babes.

The Jimmy Smith situation allegedly involves a passed out woman in a bar bathroom that Smith was attempting to assist.  When medics arrived, he allegedly became agitated and argumentative with the medics and police.  Honestly, who cares?  It was probably a big misunderstanding involving revved up alcohol-emotions.  This incident probably boiled down to either Smith, or a medic, or a cop, or any combination of the three, acting like a prick.  Either way, Smith will always lose in a situation like this.  Best just to listen to the cops and the medics and keep your mouth shut.

At least Smith is keeping up with a rich team tradition.  Our boys in purple and black have always shown an affinity for grabbing the attention of police for all the wrong reasons.  From Ray Lewis and the white jacket (allegedly), to Corey Fuller and card games (allegedly), to Jamal Lewis and cocaine (allegedly), to Chris McAlister and DUIs (allegedly), to Ray Rice playing Mike Tyson knockout with his fiancé in an elevator (allegedly), the Ravens have upheld a criminal tradition that Al Capone would be proud of.

And this latest Raven arrest got us thinking.  Who is next? Which Raven will carry on this purple jailhouse tradition?  We of course don’t own a working crystal ball, so it’s impossible to know, but the least we can do is post odds on it.  Hey, what better way to make an impending arrest good news than by betting on it happening?

Below we list a few players, their odds, and the probable crime they will commit to get them arrested. (if they’ve already been arrested, they can’t be on the list.)  Enjoy, babes….

Current Odds On Which Raven Will Get Arrested Next

Omar Brown (2-1)–  His name is Omar, he’s in Baltimore.  You know, like The Wire?! Omar comin’……

Marshal Yanda (4-1)-  Yanda looks like a Jack Daniels and a stolen tractor kinda guy….

Gino Gradkowski (6-1)-  He probably should have already been arrested for stealing a roster spot last year.

Elvis Dumervil (8-1)-  Destruction of property. (Specifically fax machines.)

John Harbaugh (12-1)-  At some point he’s just gotta pummel that toolbox brother of his to a pulp.


Terrance Cody (15-1)-  Possibly get popped for excessive NCAA violations.  I mean, didn’t he make more money playing for Alabama than Baltimore?


Eugene Monroe (15-1)-  Something about this guy screams tax fraud….


Marlon Brown/Josh Bynes (15-1)-  Dreads.  I truly believe that cops hate dreads.

Joe Flacco (10,000-1)-  C’mon, dude signed a gazillion dollar contract and then went to McDonald’s.  Longshot.


Torrey Smith (1,000,000-1)-  No way.  He may be the nicest guy on the damn planet. If this dude gets arrested I’m done.  (Wait, I said the same thing about Ray Rice not too long ago, babes.)

The Field (1-1)- C’mon, rest of the team. Let’s go for 6 before training camp!


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *