Peyton Manning Is An Atrocious Dancer

Humor, Sports and Bets — July 28, 2014 at 5:47 pm by

Peyton Manning might be the greatest quarterback of all-time, but Jesus Christ, this guy’s a fucking nerd. This is the man who last season set NFL single-season records for passing yards and touchdowns, dancing like your creepy, drunk uncle at a cookout. Just a truly awful display of motor skills by Manning, who really should know better. You’re a middle-aged, white man, Peyton, stay in your lane. Keep it simple with some head bobbing, some clapping, and maybe a dice roll or two. That’s a moving the chains, winning formula on the dance floor. You keep throwing up these reckless Hail Marys, and you’ll be known as the Elaine Benes of the NFL.

I also love how Wes Welker took some time away from daydreaming about plowing his dipshit wife and dropping crucial passes to join in on the fun. That little weasel really grinds my gears, and I’d do unforgivable things for his loud-mouthed, old lady to grind on my shaft. Mercy.


via Deadspin


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