Pennsylvania Man Got Bombed & Let His 8-Year-Old Nephew Drive

Humor, News — August 26, 2014 at 6:36 pm by

I know it’s still August, but Clarence Hairston just locked up the Uncle of the Year Award for 2014. Who didn’t get to steer the car while their dad, granddad, or uncle was on the pedals growing up? It was always a good time for everyone. But the one thing that it lacked was the element of real danger. You always knew that if you started to fuck up, the adult would take the wheel and get you home safely. Clarence knew that in order to spice the game up for his nephew, he had to get shithammered off Bud Ice tallboys. Now his nephew would really get a chance to test his driving skills, because his uncle would have the motor skills of an inflatable dancing man at a used car lot.

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Unfortunately for both Clarence and his nephew, it sounds like the kid’s driving skills aren’t quite up to par yet. But hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. It’s better for Clarence to find that out now, than to spend years missing out on a perfectly safe, free taxi service right at his fingertips. Apparently, Upper Darby Police Superintendent Michael Chitwood didn’t see it that way. He said, “The guy is a total moron, it’s the best way to describe him.”

I guess that we agree to disagree, Mike. You see a moron, and I see a trailblazer that likes to party. Keep your head up, Clarence. It’s not your fault that you’re playing chess while these simpletons are playing checkers.

via Huffington Post & ABC 6 Philadelphia

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