Look, I’m on the record of saying I scratch my dick constantly. I don’t know how I’d live life without doing it. I’m not sure it’s possible. I’d say I do it at least about an hour a day while I’m awake, plus whatever bonus time I get when I’m asleep. I’m probably scratching and adjusting all night long, who knows. And no, I don’t have the clap. But here’s the thing. I don’t think for a second that Old Dominion coach Jeff Jones just forgot to layer on the corn starch last night. This was no ordinary, common man adjusting of the balls here, this was an intentional attack on whoever had the displeasure of shaking his hand. I’m guessing it was the coach of whatever crap team Old Dominion was playing. You think he wanted to shake that coach’s hand? Absolutely not, sportsmanship is for pussies, I’ve said it a thousand times, and Jeff Jones knows it too. He wasn’t shaking hands because he wanted to be a good sport, he was shaking hands because no matter how old us men get, the kid in us always finds it funny to spread our ball sweat to the next guy. Plain and simple.