Nik Wallenda Is Crazier Than You

Featured, News — June 24, 2013 at 9:33 pm by

Alright, I’m sure by now most have you have seen or at least heard of Nik Wallenda’s tightrope scamper across the Little Colorado River Gorge.  (It wasn’t the Grand Canyon, the National Park Service wouldn’t give him permission.   The Navajo Nation, however, didn’t give a shit if this crazy pale face wanted to splatter himself all over their property.)  It was pretty intense to say the least and Ol’ Nik is definitely something of a bad ass, but a few things had me asking questions.  First, who is a big enough asshole to do something like this in front of his kids, who were standing at the finish end of the gorge.  “Hey junior, want to see if Daddy crushes himself on some jagged rocks?”.  Ugh.  I mean do you really want your children to follow in your tightrope-walking footsteps?  It’s not like he’s inspiring them to take over the family fucking farm.  And isn’t Joel Osteen’s quite the camera whore.  “Jeeeeeeesus will help you over the gorge Nik.”  Maybe Jeeeeeesus should give Nik some self-preservation awareness.  Although walking a tightrope over a canyon does make for some dramatic T.V. babes…..

2 Comments

  1. Motherfucker was embarrassed that he walked over the Grand Canyon with a little safety harness. Next year he’s going to bounce over the Grand Canyon on his great big balls.

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