NFL Picks Week 17. Pulp Fiction and Ezekiel

Sports and Bets — December 28, 2014 at 9:36 am by

 

That’s some cold shit.  It’s also symbolic of betting the NFL.  Gambling on the NFL is the tyranny of evil men.  Everybody who bets on the these damn games is the weak.  Those who publish blogs offering betting advise are supposed to be the shepherd, but that part of the equation hasn’t quite worked out.  Nobody here is making a fortune, but with the playoffs coming up the cream rises to the top.  Week  17 is just a warm-up for the big stage.  We, like Jules, are trying real hard to turn this thing around.  Here we go…

The Chode (Season: 13-16-1)

Game 1- Indianapolis @ Tennessee

Line: Indy -7

Chode’s Pick: Tennessee

At home, the 2-13 Tennessee Titans will end their season on a strong note, as they will keep pace with Colts. The Colts were dismantled by the Cowboys last week and they just aren’t ready to play again this week. The Colts will win the South Division either way, but I like their struggling ways to continue in Nashville.

New Orleans @ Tampa

Line: New Orleans -4

Chode’s Pick: TAMPA

So I am taking another 2-13 to find a cover in the last week of the season. So what of it?  New Orleans is officially in the tank and crushed by bitter disappointment.  In Tampa, guys have been playing for 2015 roster spots all season and the Bucs have gotten a bit more competitive lately.  Both teams stink.  I’ll take the home team with the points that stinks.

 

Babes- (Season:  22-19-1)

Week 17 is an entirely different animal when you’re betting.  Some teams have packed it in and don’t give a shit, while others have major playoff positioning implications on the line.  You have to see what’s at stake for each team before you decide who to back.
First, I’m taking the Jets getting 6 points down in Miami.  The Jets always play well there, they won outright last year when Miami needed a win to get into the playoffs.  This Jets team will play hard one last time for Rex Ryan, who will go out a winner.  On the other hand it’s another disappointing year in South Beach for Joe Philbin and crew, and this team is thinking about what all inclusive vacation awaits them next week.

I’m also taking the 14 points the Raiders are getting in Denver.  The Broncos don’t have much to play for. All they have to do is beat Oakland to secure a first round bye, and the second seed in the AFC.  I can see Peyton exiting this game early, and I ‘ll take my chances that Oakland will play their hearts out.

I’m not betting it because I don’t bet against the Ravens, but I love the Browns getting 13 points.  Cleveland’s defense has been carrying the terrible offense all year.  With Connor Shaw playing quarterback, it’s no different then the shitty quarterback play they have had to deal with all year.  The Ravens win by 7 to 10 at the most.

Seabass (Season:18-28-2)

Tine to go nutso here as I try to chase cash lost during the regular season.  This is definitely not the way to go about things, but fuck it, we’re talking about pride here.  With me, it’s not really about the money, it’s about being right.  (Okay it’s really always about the money.)  So I’m picking every game this week and we’ll see how things shake out.  I’ll be hitting the reset button next week for the playoffs either way.  Here we go.

reset

Bills at Pats (-5)-  The Pats roll the Bills who royally fucked up their season by losing to the Raiders last week to end their playoff hopes. Brady takes control of this one late.

Panthers at Falcons (-3)-  Falcons sew up division at home in this NFC South Championship game.  The Falcons are 5-0 vs their own division.  Versus everybody else, they’re 1-9.

Bears at Vikings (-6.5)-  Love the Vikings to kick the shit out of the dysfunctional Bears here.

Browns at Ravens (-13.5)- The Ravens shouldn’t be laying this much lumber to anybody.  The Browns will lose, but they’ll keep it relatively close.

Dallas (-3.5) at Redskins- The Skins win outright to sweep the series and to force more confusion onto Washington fans about who their QB should be in 2015 and 2016 and 2017.  RG?

Lions at Packers (-7.5)- Take the points in this divisional gem.  Lions D is tough and they beat the Pack already this year.  Nail-biter on the frozen tundra.

Colts (-7) at Titans- No way I can bet on the Titans.  No way.

Jags at Texans (-10)-   That’s a lot of points and should be an automatic bet on the Jags, but we know first hand how well the Texans defense is playing.  Lay the lumber- the Texans are still in the hunt.

Saints (-4) at Bucs-  I’ll take the points.  The Saints defense is awful.  Bucs keep it close in a shoot-out.

Jets at Dolphins (-6)-  Both teams suck, both have nothing to play for.  I’ll take the points as the Dolphins shouldn’t be giving up six to anyone- even a team as shitty as the Jets.

Eagles at Giants (-2.5)- In the Who Cares? Bowl, the Giants beat the Eagles to humiliate the Philly fanbase even further.  Chip Kelly’s college offense comes under more scrutiny.  Of course, if Mark Sanchez is running your offense it isn’t an NFL offense.

Chargers at Chiefs (-1)-  Chiefs win and cover.  K.C. can play against the pass.  Chase Daniel can run an offense that hands-off and dumps off.  Divisional spoiler.

Cards at 49ers (-7)-  If The Chode were starting at QB for Arizona, I would still bet Arizona.  Harbaugh and his khaki pants surprise the world and take a job at a D-3 school in Maine during the post-game.

Oakland at Denver (-14)-  I guess I’ll take the points.

Rams at Seahawks (-13)-  Same here.

Good Luck!  Playoffs next week!

 

cover pic: jaypgreene

 

 

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