New Jersey Police Looking For A Serial Breast Pump Thief

Humor, News — December 11, 2014 at 3:51 am by



New Jersey police are on the look out for this guy, who is wanted for stealing multiple breast pumps from two different Burlington Coat Factory stores. December 1st, he hit up the store in Brick Township, NJ, and left with 3 breast pumps, combining for a total value of around a thousand dollars. He is also a suspect for stealing more breast pumps at another Burlington Coat Factory in Freehold, NJ.

What the fuck is this guy doing where he needs such a plethora of breast pumps? No way this guy slays enough vag to have this many baby mamas breast feeding at the same time. I really can honestly not think of any possible scenario that would necessitate the use of this many breast pumps. I’m super weirded out by this guy.

That being said, I’d probably hang out with him if I got the chance.

via The Smoking Gun

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