New Jersey Man Arrested After Stealing $2 In 4 Robbery Attempts

Humor, News — August 6, 2014 at 5:46 pm by

According to police reports, Joshua James Pawlak, 27, went to three different places of business armed with a knife and demanded money. But on all three of these occasions, Pawlak fled the scene empty-handed. The only money that Pawlak obtained was from his unarmed robbery of a bakery for $2 out of their tip jar. Talk about the heist of the century. Fuck off, Danny Ocean, there’s a new sheriff in town.

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This guy is a total embarrassment to thieves everywhere. If you’re going to go into the robbery business, you’ve got to go 100% or not at all. You can’t stroll into a 7-11 with your finest blade to fill your pockets to the brim with cold, hard cash, then puss out at the last minute. You’ve got to see that shit through to the end. Show some backbone, for Christ’s sake. And all of these robbery attempts occurred within 24 hours of each other. I can respect him for not calling it quits after the first botched robbery. He probably figured that he could make some slight adjustments and turn things around. But after a second straight piss poor showing, he should have known that it was time to go back to the drawing board. He should’ve realized that his robbery tactics need a complete overhaul, or that he needs to find another line of work. Dude put his ass on the line four different times, and ended up with roughly the same amount of money that Marv jacked from a Santa Claus. Not a good look.

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via Gawker & NJ.com

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