Nerd Alert: Wearable Tech

Humor, News — January 16, 2014 at 10:37 am by

Want to be at your next L.A.R.P. convention and actually be the cool one this time?  That won’t happen, but you can have a cool new tech that you can wear instead of foam shoulder pads.  Tech Companies have finally slid their cold mechanical hands down the public’s pants and given us technology that is wearable.  The level of tech that is set to hit the stage in 2014 is beyond the nerd essentials of a watch phone and viewing glasses.  It has gone from a pesky pen and paper in a pocket protector, to a pair of underwear that can give you a grocery list.  Yes that’s right, it’s Smart Clothing.   A collection of micro sensors will work in tandem with new advanced clothing fibers to actually compile endless amounts of data.   Because these micro sensors have the ability to collect, store and analyze data, they will be used just like a PC. 


The possibilities are beyond comprehension.  Imagine being able to plug into a pair of pants and after 1 week of wear, those same pants can fully map out for a doctor the movement patterns of a bum knee, or identify which leg an athlete favors during his strength training.  (Porn applications are still being rigorously thought out here and we will make sure we post any possible outcomes)  The optimization of these fibers will not be fully available until 2015.  Rest assured, the infant levels of these products will be available very soon.  Just like the other idiots out there who are impatient, I will be buying every release of any new product that closely resembles this tech in hopes of somehow making it into vibrating underwear that talks to me, then cleans up and makes me a sandwich.  I will report all of my findings and list them here.

 Johnny Deep singing off

via WearableTechWorld


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