Money, Power, Respect. We Pick Week Three of The NFL

Featured, Sports and Bets — September 21, 2013 at 7:13 am by

Don’t you just love this shit?  Seabass and Babes bounced back from a rocky week one to earn a little bit of money and respect.  Meanwhile, The Chode continues to struggle.  But like the mighty salmon who struggle upstream to mate and proliferate in the Great Northwest, The Chode’s struggles will surely lead to money proliferation as the season grinds on.  So here we go, and take these for what you will.

Like the salmon, The Chode faces an upstream battle.

The Chode (Season 2-4)

Another 1-2 in NFL picks isn’t going to get the job done. The only pick I’ve hit the first two weeks is Miami. How about those Dolphins, right? Lets turn this thing around because losing to Seabass and Babes just isn’t acceptable.

 Game 1: Houston @ Baltimore

Line: Houston -2.5

Chode’s Picks: BMore

The Ravens as a home dog? Come on man. I don’t care how good the Texans are supposed to be, or the score of last year’s game. The Ravens are 6-1 all time against Houston and I refuse to take them seriously until they win something that matters.

Game  2 : St. Louis @ Dallas  

Line: Dallas -3.5

Chode’s Pick: Cowboys

I hate Tony Romo, but they took care of the Giants at home, and that KC loss isn’t looking so bad. The Cowboys get a home win in their newly named AT&T stadium that I’ll always refer to as Jerry World, no matter who sponsors that place.

Upon hearing the news that The Chode hated him, Romo fought back tears.

Game 3: Atlanta @ Miami

Line: Miami -2

Chode’s Pick: Miami

 Miami is the only thing that’s been working for me so far, and I’m not gonna turn my back on the Fins now.

Game 4:  Chicago@ Pittsburgh

Line : Chicago -2.5

Chodes Pick: Pitt

The Squealers are bad, but not bad enough to go 0-16. Even blind squirrels find nuts and the Stealers find one at home in Heinz field Sunday night.


Babes (Season 4-3, Teasers 0-1)

It’s week 3 and time to push.  We have another week or so before Vegas really has the NFL pegged, so it’s time to take advantage of some line value.  I split Monday night and wasn’t able to double my Sunday winnings, but no worries, this is the week!
The biggest play of the week?   You got it, our Baltimore Ravens at home getting points against an overrated Houston Texans team.  Our home record since 2010 is 24-3, the only two teams to beat us were division rival Pittsburgh and Peyton Manning’s Broncos.  Teams don’t come into Charm City and win, period.  The Texans will be without starting left tackle Duane Brown which means Terrell Suggs will be on Matt Schaub all day long.  Baltimore will hold Houston’s running game at bay and put more pressure on a weakened Texans pass protecting unit.

Here comes Sizzle

There’s a great trend that supports the Ravens: Home underdogs who will be road favorites the following week (Baltimore is at Buffalo next week) are fantastic bets in between Weeks 2-10: They are 61-26 against the spread since 1989.  So far this year, home dogs are 6-3 ATS.  I’m taking the Ravens as my first real big play of the year.
I also like Atlanta Sunday in Miami getting three points.  Yes I know, the Dolphins are 2-0 and Atlanta is a bit banged up.  Steven Jackson is out, but Atlanta wasn’t gonna be able to run much anyway against Miami’s tough run stop unit.  But I think Matt Ryan will have a big day throwing the football, and the winning pedigree that Atlanta has will allow them to steal this game late.  A couple numbers to support my opinion, the Dolphins are 1-9 ATS as a favorite coming off a SU win as an underdog since 2007.  The Dolphins are 1-10 ATS in September home games since 2006.  I’ll trust the numbers and go with the visitor.
I like two totals to go under and one to go over Sunday.  The rookie quarterback bowl between Geno Smith and EJ Manual should be a sloppy, low scoring affair.  I also like the Brian Hoyer led Cleveland offense to sputter and for that game to stay low.  In San Fran I’ll go over the posted total in a Kaepernick/Luck shoot out.

Seabass (Season 5-3)

Five and three ain’t a bad start, but when you’re fighting the man and his juice, it’s not enough to justify eating dinner at the big steakhouse.  We’re still cutting sirloin at the Sizzler, and I’m ready to eat the Prime Cuts at Ruth’s Chris, so let’s go get ’em. 3-0 or bust babes.

San Diego at Tennessee -3:  The Titans finally get their home opener this week and they’ll be facing a white-hot Phillip Rivers and Company.  No problem.  The Titans are ready to lay the hammer, and Rivers, with his extremely punchable face, will be the victim of their angst.  Look for Chris Johnson to have a big game, as the Titans will look to pound the football and control the clock.  The Chargers may keep it close early, but by the fourth quarter they’ll be worn down and ready to fly back to sunny SoCal.

So punchable.

Giants at Carolina -1:  Both of these teams are 0-2 and looking for some answers on offense.  The Panthers are more likely to find some at home against a turnover plagued Giants squad.   The Giants are dropping the football more than Paula Dean would drop n-bombs in a conversation with Riley Cooper. The Panthers D will be ready to atone for last week’s fourth quarter meltdown in Buffalo, and Cam Newton is due for a big week.

Cleveland at Minnesota -7:  I hate it when I like all favorites, especially when they seem this obvious.  But the Browns  look like road kill right now.  Brian Hoyer at QB?  Jesus, they couldn’t find anyone better than that?  And what does that say about Jason Campbell?  Not to mention the fact that the Dog pound just traded away their best offensive weapon. (Though personally I like the move and think Richardson is way overrated.) Granted, the Cleveland D is tough, but how the fuck are they scoring points?  Minnesota played well in Chicago last week, and Christian Ponder is actually playing pretty well. AP all day and Minny will win by double digits.  Too easy, Mush.

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