Man Tries To Cross Canadian Border With 51 Live Turtles Strapped To His Body

News — September 26, 2014 at 1:53 am by

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Kai Xu apparently had no problem fitting 51 live turtles in his sweatpants to sneak them across the Canadian border, and I have no problem with him bringing said turtles on his trip. If these animals are important to Kai, then they’re important to me. And I’m certainly not one to judge a man for what he choses to smuggle across a national border.

He was caught because he had “irregularly shaped bulges under [his] sweatpants on both legs.” Listen U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service agents, these turtles are clearly this man’s only friends, and he clearly has named them all. He definitely hold funerals for each of them individually as they pass. Let him cross. This is obviously a beautiful story of a man attached at the hip to his turtle friends.

…Or he’s some sick bastard who seeks to profit $1,300 to $1,500 per American pond turtle on the Asian food and collectors markets.

Shit.

This is the true life of a turtle? It’s true what they say, everything is different from the movies in real life. That Michael Bay is full of shit.

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via Gawker

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