Man Found In Trash Truck At Landfill In Jessup

News — September 25, 2014 at 10:12 pm by

I guess this brings new meaning to the phrase, “getting trashed”.

A man was found in a trash truck in Jessup as it was dumping its load of garbage at the Jessup landfill.  To make matters worse, the guy claimed that 10-14 of his relatives were also somewhere in the garbage.  So, sixty firefighters searched through fifteen tons of trash for about 90 minutes in an attempt to find the remaining members of this mysterious garbage dwelling family.  Of course no one else was found, and the dumpster diver was taken to a local hospital for evaluation and treatment.

The following is obviously all speculation, but this incident reeks of Mad Dog 20/20 and angel dust.  I mean, everybody’s been guttered and blacked out before, but damn, choosing to take a snooze in the nearest dumpster takes a special kind of buzz. And from what I hear, only Mad Dog and a lung full of love boat can make you think you’re at a family reunion at Uncle Oscar’s place, when in reality you’re sleeping alone on a bed of last night’s chicken wings.  Ugh, babes.

oscar

 

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