Man Arrested For The Fourth Time For Having Sex With Pool Floats

Humor, News — June 11, 2014 at 4:56 pm by

First things first, if you asked me to guess what someone who was arrested for having sex with inflatable objects for the fourth time looked like, Eddie would fit my preconceived notions perfectly. The shirt saying, “I’m out of my mind. Please leave a message”, is just icing on the cake. I got a message for you, Eddie, stop fucking inanimate objects in public. It’s like the old saying goes, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” By that criteria, it’s safe to say that Eddie’s a couple cards short of a full deck.

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 Edwin Tobergta, 35, was arrested Wednesday morning after a witness observed him standing naked on Route 4 in Hamilton, Ohio simulating sex with a pink pool floatation device. According to the police report, the suspect said he was in full view of nearby businesses and passing cars. He was charged with public indecency and contempt of court. Tobergta was previously arrested in June of 2013 after he engaged in sex with a pool float outside of his house in front of several children. He pleaded guilty to that offense and was sentenced to 11 months in prison but was released early. In August of 2011 he was arrested for a similar offense involving having sex with a pink swimming pool raft. In 2002, he was caught having sex with an inflatable pumpkin that was part of a Halloween display.

 

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The way I see it, Eddie’s gotta make one of two choices if he’s gonna avoid that fifth trip to the slammer. Option 1 is to stop fucking pool floats, which might be easier said than done. Some people were born to be doctors, some people were born to be artists, and Edwin Tobergta was born to bang pool floats. You can’t fight your destiny. Option 2 is much more practical. He’s just gotta bite the bullet and take these sexual escapades inside his home. Lock the doors, close the blinds, get out his floats, pool noodles, and rafts, and go crazy. It’s time to wise up Eddie, fourth time’s the charm.

via Barstool

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