Lesson Learned From Rice Jersey Exchange: Put Your Own Damn Name On Your Own Damn Jersey.

News, Sports and Bets — September 19, 2014 at 7:22 pm by

The lines formed early at M & T Bank today.  Folks weren’t there to buy game tickets or to attend an event, they were there to exchange their Ray Rice jerseys.  The Ravens are doing their best to distance themselves from their once star running back and they are attempting to quickly wipe Ray Rice and his likeness away from their brand. I can’t blame them, Ray did knock out his lady in an elevator and he is deserving of the harsh consequences, but looking at those lines at the Bank today on the news made me feel like the fans that were there were lined up for a viewing.

Ray Rice is dead to this town and that’s sad as shit.  He played a lot of good football here, he’s probably the best running back in Ravens’ history, and he was huge in this community.

But that’s all gone now.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying Ray is a victim, the victims are Janay Rice wife and their daughter.  (I’ve written about this topic several times and I’ve blasted Rice and the Ravens.)

I’m just saying this whole thing sucks.

But with my own selfish reasoning and my own twisted viewpoint on life, I think there is a valuable lesson to be learned for every football fan by today’s Ray Rice jersey exchange.  The lesson is this:  If you must own an NFL jersey, buy one with your own name or nickname on the back.  This goes for every fan of every team.  You can’t trust these NFL dudes to behave themselves off the field, and who knows if you’re going to have time to exchange your jersey after your favorite player rapes, murders, or beats somebody.  I mean if you can’t trust Ray Rice, who can you trust?  Just a few months ago, dude was waving green flags everywhere and telling people to stop bullying nerds and weaklings and people not as strong as themselves.  (Irony is so fucking ironic isn’t it?)  Meanwhile from Rae Carruth , to Ben Roethlisberger, to Aaron Hernandez, to Ray Rice, there’s a shitload of wasted nylon and spandex rotting in closets coast to coast. No way any self respecting dude can wear these jerseys anymore unless they enjoy coming across as a supporter of murder, rape, and wife beating.  (If you have a daughter wouldn’t you love it if some kid came to pick her up in a Ben Roethlisberger or Ray Rice jersey for a day of football watching?)

But if you have an ego the size of the Chesapeake Bay, you have no such worries.  You didn’t have to waste hours of your day today exchanging number 27 jerseys and shit because you have your own name on your jersey; just like I do.  Yep, just my own name on the jersey. The next Ravens’ suspension or cut won’t affect my wallet, because I’ve got my own letters on that purple name plate, babes.

So take heed football fans and forget about putting another man’s jersey on.  Customize your own and be done with it.  That way the next beating, murder, rape, or domestic disturbance won’t effect your wallet or take time out of your life.

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