John Lackey Can Go Fuck Himself

Sports and Bets — July 6, 2014 at 1:43 pm by

In case you missed last night’s 7-4 Orioles win over the Red Sox, Nelson Cruz put on an offensive clinic. Cruz went 5-for-5 in the ball game with a home run, two doubles, two singles, and a stolen base. He scored a run and knocked in two, and missed hitting for the cycle by a few feet. (GIF below, link to the full highlight here)


Cruz recorded three of his five hits off John Lackey, including this absolute bomb. Naturally, after such an impressive performance, reporters wanted to ask Lackey about Cruz’s historic night at the plate. Here is what Lackey had to say:

“I’m not even going to comment on him,” Lackey said. “I’ve got nothing to say about him. There are some things that I would like to say, but I’m not going to. You guys forget pretty conveniently about stuff.” (Baltimore Sun)

What a fucking crybaby. A non-dickhead professional athlete would probably have said something like, “I missed my spots on a couple pitches tonight, and he was able to make me pay.” Or maybe, “Cruz put some good swings on the ball tonight, and I have to tip my cap to him.” But nope, not Lackey. Lackey has to get on his high horse, which is pretty foolish for two reasons.

First, Cruz was already heavily punished for using performance-enhancing drugs. He missed 50 games last season, and lost $2,732,240 of his $10 million salary. And who knows the untold millions that he missed out on in free agency with the Biogeneis cloud hanging over his head. Granted, the compensatory pick that had to be given up in order to acquire him also played a role in him signing a 1-year deal for only $8 million. Regardless, the suspension did significant damage to him financially and his reputation as a player. So basically, Lackey needs to move the fuck on and stop beating a dead horse.

Secondly, Boston’s best hitter, David Ortiz, tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs in 2003. Because this was when baseball was doing a piss poor job of trying to keep the game clean, Ortiz never missed a game or lost a dime. Ortiz went on to become one of the most feared hitters in the game, and helped Boston win three titles. But holier-than-thou Lackey doesn’t have a problem with that. He’d rather condemn the player who served his punishment, and love the player who slipped through the cracks in the system, strictly because he’s on his team. It’s such hypocritical bullshit, but I’m not too surprised by it. Lackey is just the most arrogant, pompous asshole on a team full of them.

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