“Jack Off To A Promising Start” Is An Early Candidate For NFL Headline Of The Year

Humor, Sports and Bets — October 6, 2016 at 2:26 pm by

 

I was a big Myles Jack guy going into the draft this past offseason. Partially because I think he’ll be a good football player, but mostly because I wanted to make as many jack off jokes as I could. So you can imagine my disappointment when the Ravens passed on Jack.

And a Jaguars beat writer (coincidence?) seems to have figured out what makes a headline arousing to the audience.

 

 

Now I’m not going to directly accuse this newspaper of intentionally making a masturbation joke, but there’s no doubt in my mind they intentionally made a masturbation joke. But if you’re in the newspaper business, you need something like this. People don’t read old school writing. Newspapers are a thing of the past. So how do you bring the readers back? Boom, sexually aggressive headline telling us exactly how to give our days a promising start.