It Is Impossible That I Don’t Land This Modeling Gig

Featured, Humor — January 21, 2014 at 9:49 am by

Really don’t know what to say here, but it would be an injustice if I didn’t share my Falling Branch modeling shoot. Great place, even in the freezing cold when its only you and your clueless brother with a camera. Call it a sign from above, but this modeling ad practically fell into my lap…


Like any hungry model, I needed to send in my goods…

I’m new to this whole modeling thing, but I think I’m ready to blow the roof off of your agency. I’m not going to waste your time with my stats, but rather unveil a little taste from my recent winter collection I call “Chris Everlasting.” What’s with the name you might ask? Huge fan of the 2002 cult classic Tuck Everlasting, which is a love story between a girl and a young man who comes from a family of immortals. So not only do these images EASILY relate to a passionate immortal such as Jesse Tuck, they pay tribute to a landscape directly connected to the film…Maybe I don’t exactly fit all your stats aka height, but I assure you I’m giving you a chance of a lifetime here. Sure, I can easily walk into Ralph Lauren headquarters and pick up a 7 figure contract, but I’m not about that life. I’m here for the little guy, I guess you could call me a modern day Robin Hood. Give me my artistic freedom, and I’ll have your work in at least 3 CITGO stations by months end. Once you regain composure, I will contact you and I’ll give you my pay scale.

Also, I definitely can’t guarantee no nudity




Again, you must be flabbergasted, but your prayers have been answered…

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