Is It Time To Stop Being Bitter and Cheer For A Ring For Rusty Kuntz?

Sports and Bets — October 22, 2014 at 10:11 pm by

I know I said that I was too bitter to watch last night’s World Series opener.  I am still bitter, and I didn’t watch last night.  But I’m an American male and I like baseball, so at some point the World Series had to make its way onto my flat screen. It’s on now and it’s the fourth inning and Lorenzo Cain didn’t catch a rocket to center like he did every rocket to center in the ALCS, and Nori Aoki just kicked a ball all over right field.  Aoki didn’t do that shit against us for some reason, but again, I’m still bitter.

And even though deep down I could give a shit who wins, it makes sense to pick a dog on the fight.

I’ve decided to root for the Royals because of one man.

I’ve decided to root for Rusty Kuntz.

Why cheer for a Rusty Kuntz? Because any man with a name like that, who kept the name he was given, is more of a man than you and I, my friend.  Elementary and middle school had to be hell, babes. Finding a date couldn’t have been easy either.  What hot wants to risk being the future Mrs. Kuntz?

Any man that has travelled the Rusty Kuntz road deserves some baseball bling.

Old man Kuntz already has a ring from being a part time player on the 1984 World Champion Detroit Tigers.  But Kuntz wasn’t much as a major leaguer and when you’re young and you suck, you probably don’t really appreciate a championship like you should.

Now Kuntz is directing traffic around the base paths and holding batting gloves and elbow protectors for good baseball players.  It’s a grind down in that first base coach’s box.  Day in and day out Kuntz is throwing up bunt signs and wiping off hit and run signals.  All that signal flashing and equipment holding that Kuntz is doing deserves a reward.  The Royals steal a lot of bases, Kuntz may be the hardest working first base coach in the biz.

Finally, sure he’s got a ridiculous fucking name, but with a mane of hair like this, how can you root against the guy?


Let’s go Kuntz!



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