In Light of Cristiano Ronaldo Captivating Our Women, Here Are The Ten Hottest Female Athletes In the World

Entertainment, Featured — June 27, 2014 at 10:08 pm by

by Zach


All I’ve been hearing about from women since the beginning of the World Cup is how hot the male soccer players are, and how bad they want to sit on Cristiano Ronaldo’s face. But while they’re all busy flicking the bean to the studs they see flopping around the grass pretending to be hurt, I made a list of the top ten hottest female athletes, for all of our enjoyment.

 10. Misty May & Kerri Walsh (Beach Volleyball)- These beach babes really spark every man’s interest in the Olympic Summer Games every four years, and I prefer all the athletes representing my country to be in bikinis while they hug each other and jump up and down.

9.  Jennie Finch (Softball) – Probably the only woman in the entire world who has ever looked hot playing softball. She led the USA women’s team to two Olympic Medals in ’04 and ’08. I’d like to play the pitcher to her catcher.

8.  Skylar Diggins (Basketball) – The former Notre Dame super star, who now plays in the WNBA, (apparently for the Tulsa Who Gives a Shit), has a face to match that phenomenal body. Sports Illustrated was smart to put her in a swim suit and take pictures.

7.   Amanda Beard (Swimming)- This seven time Olympic medalist won our hearts while appearing on the cover of the July 2007 issue of everyone’s favorite light reading magazine, Playboy. She makes me care a lot less about Michael Phelps.


6.   Danica Patrick (NASCAR) – Danica Patrick may be the most overrated driver ever, but she’s brought so much attention to the sport NASCAR fans can’t help but thank her. And I can’t help but thank Go Daddy for being so generous while displaying her, umm, talent.

5.   Maria Sharapova (Tennis) – Hot, blonde, miniskirts, what more can we ask for? I’ve been a fan since before she was legal.

4.  Lindsey Vonn (Skiing) – Tiger Woods, you’ve done well, my man, making this beauty your main squeeze. At least until she gets a hold of your golf club and bashes your car in because you’ve been having sex with hundreds of porn stars behind her back.


3    Stacy Keibler (Professional Wresting) – Not really an athlete, as professional wrestling’s not really a sport, but maybe we can squeeze her onto this list seeing as she cheered for our own Baltimore Ravens. Plus, any man would kill to get in the ring and oil themselves up with her. I’d go as far as to say she’d be worth taking a chair over the head for.


2. Alex Morgan (Soccer)- Nothing more needs to be said about her. Alex has a flawless athletic body. Here’s a wonderful shot of her ass-naked with nothing but paint on.

I like her abs too….


1.  Anna Kournikova (Tennis) – No Brainer. I grew up on Anna Kournikova, and she has yet to disappoint. My first love..






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