If You See This Dude, Run, He May Throw His Own Spunk On Ya (Allegedly)

Featured, News — July 15, 2013 at 6:02 pm by

Wilmington, DE A Delaware man threw semen on a female customer shopping at Walmart Tuesday afternoon, police allege. According to a Delaware State Police report, the 20-year-old victim was standing in a Walmart aisle texting on her phone when Short walked past her, saying “Excuse me.” At that point, police noted, she “suddenly felt something wet on her buttocks, thigh and leg.” Upon examination, the woman–who thought she may have been spat upon–realized there was a “a ‘glob’ of semen on her leg, just below her knee,” reported police. Preliminary testing of the substance was “indicative of semen,” investigators added. The woman, who said she was initially “in shock at what had happened,” told cops that as she walked through Walmart looking for help, Short followed her. She subsequently was escorted by workers to a security office, where a store manager called police (who, upon arrival, arrested Short).  When confronted by troopers, Short initially claimed to have “sneezed into his hands, then shook his hands off,” adding that some of his mucus may have “flung on to her.” However, Short’s story fluctuated to include the claim that he actually spit in his hand and threw it at the woman. Short also admitted that he thought the woman was “hot” and had “pretended to ‘slap her ass.’” In response to further questioning, Short–who was hyperventilating–reportedly copped to some severe creepiness, saying that he was a “loner” who “basically gets a thrill out of such an act.” [The Smoking Gun]

My God man.  This kind thing should be grounds for an immediate life sentence.  This poor woman is now scarred for life. If this guy lived in your neighborhood you’d have to constantly walk the streets draped in trash bags.  I wonder too, how long did he carried his own spunk around?  I mean, there was a glob of the stuff, that’s confirmed.  Where did he release the specimen from himself?  In the car?  In the bathroom?  In the produce aisle? What the fuck is going on in the Wilmington Wal-Mart for shit’s sake?  Lock ’em up, and throw away the key babes.

Sperm Chucker Alert!  Clean up in aisle 11.

Sperm Chucker Alert! Clean up in aisle 11.

One Comment

  1. Sounds like a sticky situation.

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