If The Lakers Win 47 Games, Porn Star Sadie Santana Will ‘Blow’ The Entire Team

Humor, Sports and Bets — November 6, 2014 at 4:01 pm by

sadie

47 wins? That’s like offering to blow me if I win a Pulitzer for this blog. She might as well have asked them to break the ’96 Bulls 72-10 record. This dogshit Lakers squad might not win 47 games if they doubled the length of the season. And how the hell did she come up with such a random number anyway? A .500 season or asking them to make the playoffs would have made a lot more sense. If by some miracle the Lakers do win 47 games, is there any doubt that Kobe Bryant and Ryan Kelly would turn the offer down? Kobe has had enough sexual drama in his life already. Plus, he’s such an ultracompetitive nutjob that he would rather jack 1000 jumpers after practice than get sucked off. And just look at this fucking guy. He’d probably be too busy tending to his ant farm or some creepy shit like that.

ryankelly

Since Sadie’s very generous offer is too unrealistic to ever come to pass, I’d like to make a deal of my own. If the Lakers win seven games, I’ll go down on the entire Laker Girls roster. I’ll even wear Kurt Rambis style goggles while performing the sex acts. Now, if that’s not motivation for the Lakers to rattle off some wins and for the Laker Girls to take their cheering up a notch, then I don’t know what is.

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via Busted Coverage
cover pic: Sadie’s Twitter
Sadie’s Tweet pic: Busted Coverage
Ryan Kelly pic: Illiterate Sports
Laker Girls Pics: Ultimate Cheerleaders, 1dak, & Sports Illustrated

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