Homeless Man Finds Corvette With Keys In It; Hauls Ass To Strip Club

Humor — September 6, 2014 at 5:14 pm by

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What would you do if you were homeless and found a Corvette, with the keys in the ignition, and a full blown erection that needed to be tamed? You’d drive your ass to the nearest strip club, which is exactly what 39-year-old hobo Cortez Tarver did. Jimmy’s Gentleman’s Club, 410 Lincoln Highway in Chicago was his paradise. He told police he wanted to buy the car. The police, who didn’t believe that a man who can’t afford a residence, was interested in an ’81 Corvette, arrested him, and he was charged with criminal trespass to a vehicle. Look, how can anyone blame this guy? One minute you don’t have a pot to piss in, and you’re stuck spanking your monkey dry to the mere thought of a naked woman, and the next minute you’ve got the ‘Vette top down, hair blowing in the wind, with strippers trying to suck your dick for money. That sounds nice.

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Via Patch

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