As the proud winner of my fantasy league this year (despite my top four running backs getting injured), I don’t know what losing feels like. I’m a winner, and winners win. LeVeon Bell, Carlos Hyde, Chris Johnson, and TJ Yeldon all go down for the year? No problem, I’ll hit you harder with Shaun Droughn and Denard Robinson. I’ll let my workhorses like AJ Green, Sammy Watkins, and Doug Balwin carry me to the promise land. Probably the first guy ever to win his championship with Blake Bortles at the helm.
But not this chump wearing Selena’s clothes. He probably took Andrew Luck in the first round, like a jackass. Probably drafted Dwayne Bowe in the fourth. This is what being a fantasy loser gets you. Shame, humiliation, and defeat. Maybe next year, loser, but probably not.