Guy Has Threesome on His Boat, Crashes Into LaGuardia Airport Runway

Humor, News — June 24, 2014 at 11:39 am by

Daily Mail – An amorous boat captain who had left the helm to have a drunken three-way sex escapade caused a minor security scare at New York’s LaGuardia Airport on Sunday. Craig Gallo, 51, crashed his boat into the runway lights of the busy hub after descending below deck with James Benenato, 60, and Mary Ann Belson, 60.

And the plot thickens. When I first heard about this story, I thought damn, that’s a tough break for Craig. I can’t imagine that life can get any better than doing two chicks at the same time on a boat, so I didn’t mind that he risked the safety of himself and his sexual partners to achieve this miraculous feat. I don’t care if there is some “The Perfect Storm” type weather going on or if there’s the danger of crashing into an airport runway. If you’ve got an opportunity for a nautical threeway, you’ve gotta throw caution to the wind and hope for the best. But both my stance on this incident and my wiener softened when I learned that this was a Devil’s Threeway. Now Craig’s adding the danger of crossing swords into the mix. That takes this sexual caper into reckless territory where the cons far outweigh the pros.

boatsandhoes

Gallo was charged by the NYPD’s Harbor Unit with operating a boat under the influence and Belson was taken to hospital to be treated for a possible broken nose and jaw. Benenato suffered no physical injuries. Staggeringly, the boat was left impaled on the stanchion for 30 minutes before the Port Authority arrived to investigate. A spokesman for the PA Police Department admitted that security had been breached. He said if those aboard the boat had been ‘terrorists with bad intentions, they could have easily succeeded.’

So at the end of the day, there were no winners at LaGuardia and three major losers. The biggest loser is definitely the Port Authority Police Department. How they were able to let these three criminal masterminds breach their security is a total embarrassment. Clean your shit up, you incompetent slapdicks. I’d say Gallo has got to be the second biggest loser based on the fact that he could face some jail time for this stunt. And I can’t imagine that jail is a very pleasant place for a 51-year-old white male who enjoys committing sex acts with other dudes. Last but not least, Belson got a pretty raw deal from this whole episode. The injuries are one thing, but the damage to her reputation is another. You’re a 60-year-old woman who is now nationally known for getting railed on a boat by two guys. That can’t be too pleasant. She’s going to have creeps trying to get under the table handies from her at bingo halls for the rest of her life.

via Daily Mail and Barstool

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