An unnamed 73-year-old grandmother went to visit her son in prison in Alicante, Spain back in July of 2013. She wasn’t there to lift his spirits, though. She was there to smuggle contraband in the same place where her son made his entrance into the world. From The Local:
The elderly woman concealed €20, small doses of cocaine and heroin, as well as tranquilizers, inside the plastic casing of a Kinder Egg, the popular chocolate treat made by the Italian company Ferrero. She smuggled the stash into prison by wrapping the Kinder egg in a condom and inserting it into her vagina. When she realized she was going to be frisked, she popped out the package, worth around €82, before handing it to prison guards, reported Spanish news agency Efe.
In case you’re wondering what the fuck a Kinder Egg is, here’s what they look like.
They’re probably a delicious treat, but I now have zero desire to ever eat one. Last week, the granny received a suspended sentence of a year and nine months, and quite frankly, that’s what she deserves for panicking like that. She’s 73 years old! That “frisking” was going to be a walk in the park. No prison guard would ever be suspicious of her, and there’s no way in hell anybody would want to investigate her ancient vagina. She could’ve stashed a kilo in that dusty attic and no one would’ve bothered to look. Maybe smuggle in some Werther’s Originals next time, you old bat. You clearly don’t have the composure to deal with narcotics.