Four Massachusetts Men Took A Shit On A Train

Humor, News — July 11, 2014 at 6:24 pm by

Usually when people mention “shit” and “train” in the same sentence, they are talking about the song, “Hey, Soul Sister”. Well, not so fast, my friend. I’m not talking about the pop rock band, I’m talking about a moving train that four sickos defecated on.

Telegram – P & W Railroad employees called the Uxbridge Police Department about 10 p.m. Monday to report that four individuals on the railroad bridge on Route 122 had dropped their drawers and defecated on the train as it passed below. Officers responded to the scene, but found no one in the area. “I don’t have any words for it. It’s disgusting,” said Police Chief Jeffrey A. Lourie. “It’s a violation of the law. Their actions pose no lawful purpose.”

I agree with every last word that Police Chief Lourie had to say about the incident. It was a repulsive and irresponsible thing to do. Having said that, I would like to tip my cap to these four men for their inspiring friendship. I can’t even get three of my friends to go to the movies with me, let alone take a group shit off a bridge. That’s a once in a lifetime bond that those four men share. And going at the same time? What an achievement. That makes synchronized swimming look like a walk in the park. I can only hope that they did this after a bender of heavy drinking and Taco Bell feasting to really show that train who’s calling the shots in Uxbridge.

At least Old Man Clemens wasn’t the conductor.

via Jalopnik 

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