Florida Couple Arrested For Having A 25 Minute Sex On The Beach Session

Humor, News — July 22, 2014 at 2:32 pm by

The Smoking GunJULY 21 – A Florida couple was arrested last night for having sex on the beach in front of numerous individuals, including a four-year-old girl and a witness who recorded the sandy tryst with a camera phone, according to police. Elissa Alvarez, a 20-year-old waitress, and Jose Caballero, a 39-year-old personal trainer, were each busted for felony lewd and lascivious exhibition on Cortez Beach in Bradenton. Alvarez, seen at right, and Caballero were each released from jail today after posting $7500 bond.

First off, I gotta tip my cap to 39-year-old Jose for not only landing a woman almost half his age, but then lasting 25 minutes with her in the middle of a crowded beach. You need to be sound of mind and body to pull some shit like that off. And did you get a glimpse of Elissa?


I think we could all do without the kissy face and the circa 2007 Kanye West sunglasses, but for a mid-day, crowded beach bang, she’s about as good as it gets.

I know everyone at the beach was freaking out because there were kids present, but hey, they’ve got to learn about the birds and the bees at some point. Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. I agree with the Ashley Schaeffer school of thought when it comes to sex education. Let them watch what is being consecrated here. (Skip to 39 seconds)

The most bizarre thing to me about this whole ordeal is that the police weren’t called UNTIL THEY WENT FOR ROUND 2. If people were so offended by this, why the hell would they wait that long? If I didn’t want my kid to have to watch two strangers bone while he or she is trying to build a sandcastle, I’m either confronting the creeps, or calling the cops within 25 thrusts. They should’ve gotten Johnny Law on the scene ASAP, or sat back and enjoyed the show. This passive aggressive shit is for the birds.

via Barstool

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