Florida Cop Fails Drug Test, Blames It On Boner Cream, & Gets His Job Back

Humor, News — August 1, 2014 at 12:42 pm by

Gawker – A Miami Beach cop, fired last year when his random drug test came back positive for cocaine, has been reinstated. He claimed he’d never done coke, and the test result had been caused by a cream he rubbed on his genitals. Homicide Detective Reinaldo Casas said he got the sex aid cream from a friend who, he testified, told him it “would help him in his sexual liaisons.” The friend claimed to have obtained it from “an old Cuban guy.” The Miami Herald reports the cream was a homemade Vaseline-like concoction packaged in unmarked purple containers, and according to the man who gave it to Casas, “it worked.”

Are you kidding me? This is 100 times worse than doing cocaine. I can understand a guy wanting to enjoy himself after a long week of work with a few lines of booger sugar. But I can’t wrap my head around a rational man putting such an unknown and potentially dangerous substance on his penis. If you asked me right now, “Hey Toby, are you trying to do some coke tonight, or would you rather rub this homemade boner cream from an old Cuban guy all over your dick?” I’d be like…

tony

That’s a no-brainer. You’d have to be a real sick son of a bitch to treat your wiener so recklessly. If you can’t be trusted to take care of your own penis, how can I trust you to watch over the streets of Miami Beach? This guy should’ve remained shit-canned without question.

Despite the city’s argument that the detective should have had some idea what he was putting on his dick, arbitrators ruled in Casas’ favor. He’ll be allowed to rejoin the department and will receive back pay.

Only in America.

Don King & 2K Sports Celebrate The Wii And DS Release Of "Don King Box

via Gawker 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>