Drunken Aunt Hops On Bike & Eats Shit. Big Time.

Humor — August 4, 2014 at 11:58 am by

Alcohol is one hell of a drug, and Aunt Joni was the latest to fall victim to its seductive powers. The booze was telling her, “Come on, Joni, you can do it. You’re a great athlete, and the kids will love it.” And of course she bought it hook, line, and sinker. She just knew that she was gonna hit that ramp right down the God damned middle, stick the landing, and everyone was gonna go apeshit. She was all ready to be showered in applause, until her motor skills disowned her at the last minute.

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I’m surprised that dock didn’t knock her head clean off her fucking shoulders. What a sickening thud. At least Joni went for it, though. A wild day of drinking for most aunts probably ends with dancing to the latest Pharrell jam. Joni’s day drinking ends with ill-fated attempts to become the next Mat Hoffman. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

via Daily Mail

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