Delaware Couple Had Sex On The Roof Of A Chipotle

Humor, News — July 14, 2014 at 2:57 pm by

CBS Philly – A couple was arrested after police say they had sex on the roof of a restaurant in Delaware. The bizarre incident happened at about 9:40 p.m. Saturday at the Chipotle restaurant on East Main Street in Newark. The restaurant closes at 10 p.m. and was still open for business.

What a brilliant move by this gentleman, except for the whole getting arrested part. He’s probably been trying to get his girl to spice things up in their sex life for years with all types of romantic evenings. I’m talking about chocolate covered strawberries and champagne, long walks on a moonlit beach, bumping some Marvin Gaye by the fireplace, everything he could think of. But alas, nothing could get her to release her inner sex kitten. Until now. He finally realized that the most powerful aphrodisiac of all for the fairer sex is none other than Chipotle. And that’s a 100% scientifically proven fact. Guys love Chipotle, but girls LOOVVVEEEEE Chipotle. Just mention a chicken burrito and chips with quac to a woman, and they will instantly become weak at the knees and moist in their panties. Even this little kid gets it.

According to investigators, officers with the Newark Police Department were called to scene after receiving multiple reports of a male and female having sex on the roof of the restaurant. When an officer arrived, he was on the opposite side of the street and clearly observed the couple engaging in sexual intercourse on the roof at the very front of the Chipotle building. The officer told the couple to stop, but police say they continued for approximately 15-20 seconds before stopping. The officer told the couple they were under arrest, but investigators say the pair got off the roof and ran into the male’s apartment on East Main Street. Police located the couple in the apartment and they were taken into custody.

The fact that they didn’t initially stop when asked is the biggest non-shocker of the century. When you’re banging on top of a Chipotle, you’ve already told society that you aren’t playing by their rules today. Homeboy is not going to stop during his vinegar strokes just because you asked him to, copper. You’re going to have to wait till he finishes, or bring out the Jaws of Life to pry him from that sweet coochie.

vinegar

[H/T BroBible]

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