C’mon Dudes, Clean Up and Bring Your A-Game. ( A Female Plea To Dirtbags)

Entertainment, Humor — February 3, 2014 at 2:31 pm by


By: Lizard

Once, while on a third date with a guy, the light in the restaurant hit his face just right and I suddenly noticed that his nose hairs were long enough to graze the croutons on top of his salad.  It then hit me.  Well, the sudden urge to hurl all over the table was the first thing that hit me, but then, I realized that far too often than not, once you have a few dates with a guy they feel they can check out from the um, well…personal upkeep arena.

 Clean it up guys, at least for a little while, please.  Why is it us gals feel the need to dress up, wedges and all, for the fourth date, but you guys can’t even iron your damn shirts for the fifth one?  We wanna have fun.  But we wanna feel like seeing  you, and you seeing us, is at least somewhat of a special event.  Usually once a week is when you get to see us.  I’m not saying you have to pluck your nose hairs each time you prep, but please, please make sure at a minimum you’ve shoved a breath mint in your mouth!

 (Oh and here’s the top-rated nose hair trimmer on the market in case you need one!)

 No matter what your style, step it up boys!  Tuck it in, wash it, brush your hair (if you have any),and  put on that cologne (well, not that much) Seriously, keep that look in check.  You can’t make cut backs…um, at least not until we’ve both farted around each other.

And for you married guys, yes its fine to put on the sweats after a long day at the office, but at least once in a while, for you too, put some effort into manscaping!

 Did you know sales of men’s at-home grooming products grew $14 million over the past year?  Some of you out there are starting to get it.  Charge on guys; charge on and conquer with your recently purchased manly primping products!

One Comment

  1. Personally, I enjoy maintaining afro pubes.

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