Can’t Wait To Hit The New Ice Rink At The Inner Harbor

Outdoors — November 19, 2014 at 9:13 pm by

Baltimore, prepare yourself.  For the quest you have chosen to embark on, if successful, will bear copious amounts of mythical athletes.  I speak of talent so rare, that it is only spoken of every four years.  A talent that requires so much dedication and so much charisma, that failure to supply either of those traits during competition will lead to a condemning judgement that no mere mortal can bear to comprehend.  Have I painted this picture clearly enough yet?    No?  Well, allow me to blow your feeble mind- it is Figure Skaters that I speak of.

ice

 It is true, Baltimore has paved the way for these ice devouring sex tornadoes to grace us with their presence.  On November 21st Baltimore will open their version of a delectable frozen grotto- or for the more square readers- an ice skating rink.  Brace yourselves Baltimore, for you have created a portal than cannot be closed.  A portal that will summon a sexual conclave of the world’s most flamboyantly dressed athletes the universe has ever known. I suggest the novice come take part in the seductive dance upon the ice, but beware, a triple toe 720 spin to high jump split is not as innocent as it looks.

The rink will be in McKeldin Square, and will be open from Nov. 21st to MLK Jr. Day. Check the site for more details.

You’ll be calling me Chazz Michael Michaels in no time…

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