Bar 101: Lesson 2

Featured, Pubs and Grub — February 22, 2013 at 2:38 pm by

Part Two:  Bringing A Date To The Bar:

It’s funny, when I was a young buck I would wonder why the hell so many hot chicks were out with older dudes.  Granted, a lot of times it has everything to do with money, but a lot of times it doesn’t, and some regular goon who’s in his 30’s( or even 40’s) is coming around and stealing all the quality ass.  (Once dudes are in their 50’s or 60’s and pulling hot twentysomethings, it is definitely all about the money, therefore, these geezers and the gold-grubbers they are banging don’t count here.  If you are one of these geezers, congrats.)  It’s because these dudes are more polished and have some clue about women.  Granted some younger guys will always pull ass, it’s just who they are. But this blog this week is for the regular schmo, who just doesn’t get it.  There are plenty of you out there, out all the time, getting all banged-up, and striking out left and right.  If and when you finally do get a decent girl to go out with you, you fuck it all up.  Believe me, we’ve all been there.  But experience and observation help, so here are some observations that may help your sorry ass.

1.  Do not bring a first date to a bar at which you are a regular.   Why bring sand to the beach?  Besides, all you’re going to do is get bombed and pay attention to everything but her.  Save your favorite bar for later in the relationship. You want to at least pretend that you care about what she says, and being around your drunk pals isn’t going to make her feel that you do.

2. When approaching the bar, ask her what she wants before you order.  This is just common courtesy.  Don’t come up to a busy bar and blurt your order out first.  It’s rude as shit and if she is indecisive it may hold the bar up and make her feel pressure to order something she doesn’t really want.  At least have some damn manners, they notice, believe it.

3. Do not ask  the bartender, “What are your specials?”  This makes you look like a cheap motherfucker, and may pressure a nice chick to order something she doesn’t really want to order so your cheap ass can save a few cents.  For God’s sake enjoy yourself for once and drink what you like.  If you act like a tight-wad  it can, and probably will, ruin the date.

4. Don’t get hammered. Getting buzzed together on the first date is a good time, getting throw- up drunk while she calls a friend to help get herself as far away from you as possible, is a disaster.  Save revealing your alcoholism until later in the relationship. 

5.Don’t drink girl drinks.  We’ll go over this in a later blog.  But if you question this, you got problems anyway.  No girl is gonna respect you if you order an “Upside Down Pineapple On the Rocks” the first time she sees you order a drink.

6.PAY THE CHECK.  Even if the night sucks.  You are the guy.  PAY THE CHECK.  Even if she offers to pay it, or pay half.  PAY THE WHOLE CHECK.  If you randomly run into one of her friends.  BUY THEM A DRINK.  Even if your date offers to leave the tip.  PAY THE WHOLE CHECK,  BUY HER RANDOM FRIEND A DRINK, AND LEAVE THE TIP.  Act like a damn man and pay.  Period.

7. Tip well.  Quality chicks don’t like cheap bastards.

Hopefully these can help you.  If you already follow these rules and are still unsuccessful in dating, maybe your failure has more to do with your awful personality or hideous looks.  But good luck anyway!

 

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