Baltimore’s Football Babes

Featured, Sports and Bets — June 4, 2013 at 9:12 pm by

by The Chode

charm footbal logo

Summer is officially here, and while everyone’s weekends are filling up with beach trips, pool parties and cookouts, I wanted to take a minute to point out a local event that’s been flying under the radar here in Charm City.

This Saturday night at 8:00 PM the Baltimore Charm has their home opener scheduled right downtown at the Baltimore Arena.  If you’re asking yourself, “What the hell is the Baltimore Charm?” don’t worry, I’ve got your back- as I consider myself somewhat of an expert on all things football and lingerie.  Yep, that’s correct, Baltimore is the proud home to one of the finest lingerie football teams in the game, and I don’t think they’re getting the credit they deserve.

I’m not really an advocate in any way, shape, or form for women’s sports. I’ve always felt that if both genders were athletically equivalent there wouldn’t be an NBA and a WNBA, there would just be one basketball league.  Yet for all that women’s sports have done to let me down in the past, this lingerie football league makes up for it- and then some. We men are simple animals. We like food, beer, sports, and boobs.  This league has all that and more, and while I haven’t seen Saturday night’s menu, I’m sure the Baltimore Arena has me covered on frosty Coors Lights and Nachos as far as the eye can see, so we’re good there. As for the sports and boobs, these geniuses out did themselves and combined the two together, adding in a splash of the ever elusive, potential Nip-Slip. Hot babes playing football in bikinis; this is the kind of stuff I’m dreaming about when my alarm goes off at 7 AM. What’s not to like?

She is better at football than you.

She is better at football than you.

These beauties aren’t out there playing for million dollar contracts either, they’re out there for the pure love of the game. That’s something rare these days. While Rodger Goodell is wussifying the sport we have grown to love, these girls are taking it in the right direction. In fact, they have actually eliminated field goals and punting. These chicks understand the essence of football, and they don’t want any damn soccer players taking away from it.  Fourth and long isn’t a tough decision in the LFL because there’s only one choice, YOU GO FOR IT!  That’s what the fans pay the bucks for, to see football on every down, not to see some twinkle toes that got cut from the high school soccer team go all Billy Cundiff on them.

Despite the fact that I’m obviously drawn to Lingerie football by the forces of nature, but there is also something to be said for supporting your hometown teams. I’ve never met fans as loyal as those here in Charm City. This year we’re fresh off a Lombardi Trophy, a MISL Blast championship, and we’re currently watching the Orioles duke it out for the AL East. With all this winning, I’m really starting to get greedy, so you’re damn right I want that LFL trophy, and I wanted it yesterday. If Baltimore got a pro ping- pong team I’d be the first guy in line with my AMEX out, ready to sign off on a season ticket package, crushing big boy Bud Lights on GAMEDAY.  All in the name of another title for the city that I love.

So this Saturday night, rather than watching re-runs of How I Met your Mother on TBS, dig down deep into you pocket for $16, and go support your home town hunnies as they take on the Philadelphia Passion.

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