Babes’ 9 Favorite Naked Gun Quotes

Entertainment, Featured — July 29, 2013 at 11:08 pm by

Here are ten funny ass excerpts from one the greatest comedy franchises of all time.

 9.  Dr. Mainheimer Reads “Strokin’ The Love Muffin”

Dr. Mainheimer: [the entire audience is asleep] Now, to elaborate on point 102…

Ed Hocken: [hands him a book called “Strokin’ The Love Muffin”] Here! Read this, it’s an emergency.

Dr. Mainheimer: [starts reading] “His strong manly hands probed every crevice of her silken femininity, their undulating bodies writhing in sensual rhythm, as he thrust his purple-headed warrior into her quivering mound of love pudding.”

[audience slowly wakes up]

8.  All I know is never bet on the white guy.

7. Sex, a painstaking task.

Dr. Mainheimer: It’s a terrible thing that’s happened here, Lieutenant. I do hope you will find the people responsible.

Lt. Frank Drebin: I’m sorry I can’t be more optimistic, Doctor, but we’ve got a long road ahead of us. It’s like having sex. It’s a painstaking and arduous task that seems to go on and on forever, and just when you think things are going your way, nothing happens.

6. The D83 Swedish Sure-Grip Suck Machine.

 

5. Frank loves being single.

Lt. Frank Drebin: I’m single! I love being single! I haven’t had this much sex since I was a Boy Scout leader!

[Music stops playing. Everyone stops talking and stares at him]

Lt. Frank Drebin: [to everybody] I mean at the time I was dating a lot.

4. She reminds me of my mother.

Lt. Frank Drebin: [describing Jane; voice-over] I couldn’t believe it was her. It was like a dream. But there she was, just as I remembered her. That delicately beautiful face. And a body that could melt a cheese sandwich from across the room. And breasts that seemed to say… “Hey! Look at these!” She was the kind of woman who made you want to drop to your knees and thank God you were a man! She reminded me of my mother, all right. No doubt about it.

Ed Hocken: Frank, snap out of it! You’re looking at her like she was your mother for Christ’s sake!

3. Our Lady of the worthless miracle.

Ludwig: So they were able to get him to the hospital in time?

Frank: Yes, he’s in the intensive care ward at Our Lady of the Worthless Miracle.

2. Starting a prison riot.

[in the prison cafeteria]

Frank Drebin: Hey! You call this slop? Real slop has got chunks of things in it! This is more like gruel! And this Château le Blanc ’68 is supposed to be served slightly chilled! This is room temperature! What do you think we are? Animals?

1. Nice Beaver

[Jane climbs a ladder]

Frank: Nice beaver!

Jane: [producing a stuffed beaver] Thank you. I just had it stuffed.

 

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