Absolute, Stone Cold Locks. NFL Week 10: FarmersOnly.com

Sports and Bets — November 8, 2014 at 9:17 am by

You know the ads for farmersonly.com.  When they first showed up on T.V. I thought they were fake, some elaborate joke thought up by a redneck comic genius.  Sure, it would be one expensive joke putting a bunch of 30-second spots on major cable and network television, but what else could this have been?

Turns out the joke was on us, this thing was real.  I guess there’s a real market for dating farmers.  Who knew? That commercial was eight years ago, and the farmers only ads have churned out steady on our flat screens now for the better part of the last decade.

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But recently I’ve noticed a trend with our old agrarian friends- the farmer girls have gotten hotter.  The ads are still hokie like okie, but the girls wanting to ride Farmer Joe’s  green tractor have gotten much better looking.  No offense to field-wandering Jill from the first ad, but this gaggle of boots and Daisey Dukes wearing honky-tonkers is a step up.   The brunette sitting down in the pink had me at, “you don’t have to be lonely….”…

So what do these ads have to do with betting football?  Nothing and everything, babes. Obviously, farmers dating each other is  a whole different world than the sports books of Las Vegas, but the ad’s better production and influx of talent do prove one thing- money begets hots and, vice-versa, being hot begets money.

And you got be hot to make dough betting the NFL.  .500 don’t cut it and less than .500 is a disaster.  Around these parts, .500 is all anyone is mustering- it ain’t pretty.  But the season, counting playoffs, isn’t even halfway over.  Babes has found his stride to claw back to .500.  Now it’s time for the rest of us to get moving.

This season, much like farmers only, has started out looking like a joke.  Time to fill the room with boots and dukes. We start with The Chode.

The Chode- (Season: 8-10)

Kansas City @ Buffalo

Line: KC -2.5

Chodes Pick: Buffalo

I have taken the Bills a few times this season. At 5-3 the Bills are solid team. Two of their three losses were against San Diego and New England, can’t hold those  L’s against them too much.  The Chiefs aren’t so good that they should be a favorite on the road here. I’ll take the Bill at home with the points.  Even the Most Interesting Man in The World is on the Bills….


Pittsburgh @ NY Jets

Line: Pitt -6

Chode’s Pick: J. E. T. S…..Jets Jets Jets


The Jets are 1-8, and they have lost all 8 in a row. There’s no legitimate reason I can give you to justify taking the Jets here. I just have a good feeling the Steelers drop this game as they overlook the awful Jets coming off a huge win against Baltimore. Jets find a sneaky way to win this cover this one.  Gang Green hasn’t given up yet.


Babes- (Season: 14-14-1)

I’m still running red hot as I’ve nailed five of my last six picks.  That trend will continue this week as I have three strong plays on the slate in the NFL.
The Dolphins are coming off a highly impressive shutout victory over the Chargers at home.  This week they are getting 3 points in Detroit, and although I don’t often chase a hot team, I’m going to in this case.  The Fins are 18-3 ATS in their last 21 road games where they are getting less than five points.  They are also 16-8 ATS their last 24 road games against teams with a winning record.  The Lions could be easily overlooking the Fins with some big games coming up.  Give me those points Babes.
At 1:00 on Sunday I’m also taking the Falcons on the road against the Bucs.  The number is low, as it’s bouncing around 1.5 to 2 with Atlanta favored.  The Falcons are coming off a bye, and Mike Smith needs to try and save his job.  Plus the Bucs are so awful at home, 11-30 ATS their last 41, this is a no brainer.  Matt Ryan will throw the ball all over the yard, and the Bucs can’t cover on the back end.  Remember Atlanta pummeled Tampa in the first meeting.  The Falcons roll by ten.

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In the Sunday night game I’m taking the gift that the oddsmakers are releasing at only seven points in the at home Packers.  Jay Cutler can’t beat the Pack-  he is 1-9 against them.  The Pack have been nearly unbeatable in Lambeau, and by the way, Mike McCarthey is a perfect 8-0 ATS coming off of a bye in his tenure as head coach.  The Bears couldn’t stop the Pack at home, so they definitely won’t be stopping them on the road.  Roll with the Pack Babes.

Seabass- ( 10-13)

49ers at Saints (-5.5):  The Niners are reeling after a loss to the distinctly below average Rams.  There is word that Super-Dork Jim Harbaugh is losing the team.  Now the Niners go on the road to visit the aerial attack of the Saints.  San Fran has struggled against teams that can chuck the rock.  They’ve lost to the Bears at home, the Cards on the road, and they recently got blown the hell out by Peyton Manning and crew.  5.5 points against a Saints team that has adjusted to its new personnel and that dominates at home isn’t enough.  The Saints win by a touch.

Bears at Packers (-7):  The Packers are going to fucking kill the Bears.

Panthers at Eagles (-7):  Everyone thinks Mark Sanchez is going to be fine in Chip Kelly’s system.  Please.  Mark Sanchez sucks.  Everyone seems to forget that the guy got picked twice last week and he easily could have been picked two more times.  The dude’s a turnover machine.  The Eagles are talented enough to win this game, but the Panthers will keep it tight.  Sanchez shouldn’t ever lay seven points.  Ever.



cover: daily mail



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