60-year-old White Trash Maryland Man Drives Into Pole, Then Runs Away Bloody And Shirtless

Humor, News — August 22, 2014 at 4:08 am by

woods

I mean, this guy has to be just the trashiest of all white trash. A man in his sixties pulled off quite an impressive stunt on Thursday afternoon in Jarrettsville, Maryland, when he crashed his car into a pole, and proceeded to get out and run away, never to be found, despite a 90-minute search. He was seen fleeing the scene shirtless, wearing only shorts, and his face was a bloody mess. He still has not been located, and remains on the loose.

I imagine he is now living off the land somewhere in bum-fuck Jarrettsville, probably collecting road kill and talking to himself.

Nothing reeks of a dumpster diver like a bloody, shirtless, 60-year old in northern Harford County running away from a one-car accident. There is absolutely zero chance this guy wasn’t shitfaced off of a twelve-pack of Miller High Lifes. The champagne of beers is a delicacy in Har-Co. I also have no doubts that these shorts were of the denim variety, likely cut off at the knees from what used to be his finest pair of Wranglers.

So this begs the question, what the hell’s going on in Jarrettsville lately? Over the weekend we had a Maryland State Trooper show his dick to a bar full of people, and Thursday we have this gem. Jarrettsville is actually close to my neck of the woods, so this story really hits home.

via Bel Air Patch

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